[Listen to the audio version by using the player below.]

This began with a comment from my sister, who said she was thankful for her small life. I’ve written about this before, but the concept has lingered in my thoughts.

Many of us strive for recognition – to be the hero of our own story. In our aspirational musings, we may be cheered on stage for a moving performance, commended for thwarting a crime, acknowledged for saving a life, or hailed by peers for standing up to an oppressive boss. Many or perhaps most of us never experience those heroic moments envisioned in our musings but instead encounter life in small moments that can be no less important or consequential. Yet, we often look past these moments in our search for grander things and a higher purpose. St. Augustine put it this way:

People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.

For centuries, we have been told by ancient philosophers, theologians, playwrights, and storytellers that our search for anything of value begins within. Our personal reflections give rise, in time, to a better understanding of ourselves and perhaps to wisdom. As we start to examine and accept ourselves with all of our complicated imperfections, the external influences on our lives become more apparent. We can see which of those we control and which control us. What we do with that insight is our life’s work and helps us build (or rebuild) our lives from the inside out.

As we reflect and explore our inner selves, we don’t stand alone in the world. We are social creatures who are meant to be so. To know ourselves does not mean that we don’t know or care about others – quite the opposite. That inner examination is an exploration of all of us. We may not always like what we find in ourselves or others, but that discovery defines our next steps and those that follow. We all learn from and depend on each other in ways we may not imagine.

I find it helpful to look to the small things that exemplify how we live in the world – those actions that speak louder than words. An arm placed around the shoulders of an elder in line for a vaccine, a mother’s comforting embrace of a frightened child, and maintenance of friendship and civility through stressful relationships may all seem inconsequential, but they are not. Purposeful steps can build into character and compassion. Collectively, our lives create art, heal suffering, build societies, and explore the universe. I have found comfort in my small life, too, and acknowledge that I am living in precisely the right time and place where this collection of small lives that can accomplish so much is known by another name: Democracy.

Kevin Deeny